Tomoku no Miren
by Aaron
Summary: A first hand look into the mind of the Digimon Kaiser. Not for the feint harted.


Toumoku no Miren

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By Aaron

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_I do not own Digimon or any of the multitude of other creations I ripped off in the creation of this work._

_Toumoku no Miren was my first attempt at a fic from first-person perspective. I just finished the sequel, Kesshi no Miren. It's available at [The Crests of Destiny][1]. I must warn Yamato fans that he may not be put in the best light in this story.__ Enjoy,_

_ --Aaron, Sep. 15th, 2000_

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I leaned forward, staring intently into the monitor. The last of the debris from the explosion was falling to the ground, and I could see the vague outline of what was left of the school through the thinning dust. It seemed hopeless for them, but I refused to tear my eyes from the screen. I had to be absolutely sure, I couldn't let my guard down for a single instant.

My wrist was throbbing beneath it's bandaging, reminding my to keep my guard up, reminding me of the blood on the stage far below where I now stood, in the stadium control room. My blood.

I could still hear Wormmon's useless reassurances ringing in my ears. He told me I couldn't have anticipated that an old digidestined would be in the band playing when I took over the stadium. Or that the Gabumon I sent in to lead the attack had been his companion. That I certainly couldn't have known that it would find some way of escaping the power of the Evil Ring. That I dealt with the situation well, and was lucky, even if they got away.

But I refused to think like that. I am the Digimon Kaiser, and I was supposed to anticipate everything. I was supposed to be the greatest leader the digital world had ever seen. My plans were always supposed to work.

So when they didn't, it was my fault, and that was that. I had to take responsibility for my actions, fix my mistakes, and defeat all my enemies. If I couldn't do that, I didn't deserve to rule the digital world.

"They must be dead, Kaiser," Wormmon started.

"We don't know that," I replied coldly, "They've gotten out of worse situations than this. We will not underestimate them. I want you to keep every Digimon whose on duty and not patrolling the perimeter looking through that rubble until we have found every single one of their corpses."

"Shimatta!" I cursed softly. I could see someone's silhouette moving slowly out of the rubble. A second later, another. Then two more.

"They're alive!" Wormmon shouted needlessly, followed by something more sensible, "Shall I have our minions attack?"

"No," I replied, staring at the four beings on the screen for a second longer. Daisuke, Hikari, Iori, and Miyako. I turned to Wormmon, feeling rage boil up inside me.

"They've won this battle, and I need everything I can throw at them to win the war. It'll take them a half hour to get here, and I need all of _my _minions here," I grabbed his neck and squeezed, "before they get here, or someone is going to suffer."

I released him and stalked into the corridors of the stadium. As soon as no one could see me, I let my mask slip, let some self-doubt into my face. Damn it, why did I lose control back there? I was the Kaiser, and I did not lose control. Not of the situation, not of my temper, not of my own body.

I held my hands up in front of me. They were shaking.

I reached, fumbling, into my pocket, pulling out the container. Struggling with the lid, I managed to get it open and pour two of the pills into my palm. I swallowed them, then got the lid back on the container and shoved it into my pocket. Sighing, I collapsed against one of the walls, sliding down.

I was sitting on a body. Must of been killed in the fighting when I took the stadium. I still couldn't believe I messed up back there. Even after the battle with Gabumon started, I was too flustered to make good decisions. I should have pulled back and regrouped. I could have taken them easily, with one tenth the casualties, if I hadn't let the situation get out of control like it did. But no, I panicked, and sent them in blind into a stadium full of forty thousand spooked humans.

Damn humans. Always getting it the way. I couldn't remember why I came back to this fucking planet anyway.

Oh, yes. The crystal. Maybe I still had a chance to get it before I had to fight the digidestined again. Then I could get out of here, seal myself off in the digital world, and be rid of this stupid planet.

I pulled myself up. The pills were working. I was back in control. I was the Digimon Kaiser, I knew exactly what was going on, and I was going to get that crystal without killing one more Digimon.

I made my way quickly toward the dressing room that was serving as prison cell. The guards outside stood up stiffly, their tails rising to attention. I nodded curtly to them, than motioned to the door, my expression betraying appreciation at their fulfilling their duty. A good leader always works with good soldiers.

The one of the right unlocked the door and motioned me inside. With a final nod of acknowledgment, I ducked inside.

Takeru stood up from the chair he had been sitting in. Hearing the door latch behind me, I held up my hand to stop him from speaking.

"I sent everything I had at them," I told him, letting my voice slip to the edge of cracking, "More power than you can imagine. Wave after wave. Every kind of Digimon you've ever seen, and then some."

"And?" he asked.

"And," I replied hoarsely, moving closer to him, "I only killed one of them. Diasuke, Hikari, and Iori survived everything I had."

"You lost," he said with a grin, stepping towards me, "_again_."

"I won," I replied, backing him up against the wall, "I killed one of you. We both heard what Gennai said. You all had to be together to defeat me. You can't do that now that Miyako is dead, can you?"

I could feel that rush of control rushing through my body, that excitement that said I was in charge. My thinking was clearer than ever, as I could analyze everything my heightened senses were telling me. The fact that he was breathing so hard. That I could feel his heart beating where our chests touched. I could see tiny beads of sweat beading up on his forehead. I could see the fear in his eyes.

I paused for a moment, waiting for him to make the next move.

I would have to twist him. I could tell just by looking into his eyes. I could tell, because past the fear, I could see an indomitable strength, a will that I have never seen in anyone who wasn't a digidestined.

I've heard people say that the digidestined are chosen for some special quality inside them. Something unique, like courage or friendship, or something like that. But that's not it. Digidestined are chosen, not for something unique to each individual, but for something unique to the digidestined. That they all possess and no one else possesses.

It was that strength, that will. Digidestined do not break. They can overcome anything that you put up against them. No group of digidestined had ever failed in their quest.

Looking into Takeru's eyes, I realized this, and realized that I had to change my plan. I couldn't beat them by strength. I was beginning to doubt God himself could beat them.

But he didn't realize that. He thought I had beaten them. If I played my cards right, he would tell me where the crystal was, and I could stop them. Seal them off in the real world, and break the link between the digital world and Earth. I didn't have to beat them. I didn't have to do the impossible.

All I had to do was get one scared little boy to tell me where he had hidden something.

Takeru still hadn't spoken. I don't think he could. We were still standing up against one of the walls, totally silent, and I could feel something electric passing between us. It was. . .intense.

Finally, after an immeasurable pause, he spoke.

"I know why you're here."

It seemed like an innocent enough remark, but it was downright vicious in it's true meaning. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"And?" I prompted him, trying to ignore the anger welling up inside me. Say something I can use, damn it.

"And I think you can overcome your past."

Not much, but I'll do what I can. "I already have. I rule an entire world, I lead all of the Digimon, I think I've done pretty well for myself."

"You kill innocent people."

Perfect. I couldn't have asked for something better. "Do you think I want to?" I asked. I stepped back, shattering the bond between us, and letting some pain creep into my voice, "Do you think I enjoy sending my troops to their death? Every single time some Digimon of mine out there dies, part of me dies with it. I'd give anything to stop it."

"You can stop any time you want to."

Almost there. "I want to stop right now."

"Then stop."

"I will. But I need your help. We both know that the rest of your friends will be back here soon. We both know they'll be attacking me. We both know that if they come here, I'll have to fight back. We both know that a lot of people and Digimon are going to die when that happens. But you can help me stop that from happening." Oh, that was brilliant. I liked that. Who wouldn't want to save lives?

"How. . .how can I help you?"

"Tell me where the crystal is. Give it too me, and I can leave before any of the others get here, and all the fighting will be over." He's not gonna go for that. But I'm making progress.

"You want me to help you take over the Digiworld?"

"I want you to stop a war. If I can get that crystal, I can rule in _peace_. No one else will have to die. I can unify the digital world instead of dividing it. Unify it into one great empire, an empire that protects all it's subjects, and will lead the Digiworld into a golden age. The greatest accomplishment in the Digiworld, and all you have to do is give me a small crystal. All you have to do is help me." Beautiful. Straight out of the propaganda of any dictator, and he was falling for it.

There was a long, long pause, "I'm. . .I'm sorry, but. . .I can't."

I'm close. He genuinely wants to help me, and it's tearing him up inside that he can't. God, I love this.

I knocked on the inside of the door. One of the guards opened it.

"You're dismissed. Have Wormmon reassign you to regular detail."

They nodded curtly, then made their way briskly down the corridor. Good soldiers.

I turned back to Takeru, and let a look of regret cross my face. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and spoke earnestly.

"You can go. For the sake of everyone, I hope you can convince the others to stop fighting me. Maybe we can save at least a few lives that way," I sighed, letting myself look even more depressed, "I know you can't help me, but. . .but if you could. . .you know where find me." I gave him a despondent grin, then walked slowly out of the dressing room.

I walked down the corridor at a brisk pace so as not to give myself away. I hadn't gotten around one corner before I heard footsteps behind me. There was no one around except him, so I allowed myself a small grin and made a turn into the nearest room. It was the dressing room that stupid band had been allocated. I crossed to the telephone and picked it up, punched in some random numbers.

"Wormmon," I said as Takeru entered, "Would you meet me in--never mind. This is more important."

I looked hopefully at him, thinking that he just might have cracked.

"Yamato did," he said simply.

Damn.

"Did what?" I asked innocently.

"He overcame a past like yours. He and mom never told me about his father, but you can tell. . ." he trailed off.

Suddenly, far in the distance, I heard a low rumble that sounded like some sort of fan in the air conditioning system or something. But I wasn't going to let myself be that stupid. The battle had begun. I felt a wave of relief that I hadn't brought too many Digimon to this world, because I knew I wasn't going to win this battle.

I knew I wasn't going to get much farther with Takeru, either. He still wanted to help me, but not enough to compromise his principles. That would take a lot more time, a lot more work. The work I could handle, but I didn't have the time.

Unless. . .

Suddenly, it all fell into place. I could barely resist smiling. In a minute, I'd call off the attack and return to the digital world with some vague "I'll be back" threat for Diasuke and the rest of his lackeys. That was what villains were supposed to do when they'd lost.

Takeru wouldn't tell anyone what had happened. He was just as closed up as his brother, really. It just didn't seem that way to people. He'd make some crack about my making him watch the "Battlefield: Earth" video and insist he was fine. The others would believe him, of course, because they were the digidestined and nothing ever hurt them.

Then I could come back later, when no one else was around, and work on Takeru. I could have all the time in the world, if I were careful. If I didn't get caught, and when I got him to give me the crystal, I could seal off the Digiworld before anyone knew what was going on.

And to top it all off, I had one last trump card to play before I went. I reached inside my coat for the gun I had started carrying with me. I pulled it out and pointed it at Takeru's head, giving him a split second to admire it's sleek black form and deadly efficiency.

Then I fired.

I swear that I could actually see the skin on his ear being scraped off as the bullet shot by, on it's way to punch a neat little hole in the lock on the locker behind him, the one marked "ISHIDA YAMATO."

I kept my expression carefully neutral, not letting Takeru see how much I enjoyed the terror on his face. He slowly turned his head around, to see what was behind him. He had just enough time, I'm sure, to read the label on the locker before it fell open.

I waited until the last of the bags had hit the floor until I walked up behind him. I stood right behind him, peering over his shoulder at the bags of leaves and powder that had fallen out of the locker. I gave him a split second to realize what they were.

"You know," I whispered into Takeru's ear, filling my voice with regret , "I think I've made more progress than him." I let my tongue slip out of my mouth for just an instant, long enough to lick off the blood from the cut on his ear where the bullet had grazed him, before I walked out of the room.

   [1]: http://redrival.com/miko/



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